An irreverent guide to doing yourself

Make something

Shun the conventions of your artistic-medium. Consider what makes established successes in your field successful, and do the opposite of what they do - it's been done, and if it's popular enough than there are enough imitations out already. Shakespeare wouldn't be boring schoolchildren to death today if he hadn't taken the rules and messed 'em up t'fuck. Unless you want to be a sheep, that’s cool, but personally… well… look I eat baby sheep for dinner, in curry form – I know where sheep end up and personally I would not want to be one.

Put yourself on canvas, use what you know as inspiration, convey your true self, let it be clear who has made it. Don't worry what other people will think about your style or your talent or your politics; if they don't agree with you or the way you do it than they are wrong. Art must be true, and the truth is always worth celebrating.

Give it a minute

You can't make considered adjustments the same day you think you've finished something - unless it's an essay for school, who needs grades anyway - you're probably fed up with it and have no shits left to give. If there isn't a deadline to meet, sit on your work for a week or more, you'll return to it a week or more older, and you'll have stocked up on shits. Things you thought were funny may now seem embarrassing, you can see now that this should go there and that... well that is just awful, it was a nice idea to insert that bit in wingdings, but just no. This gem you’ve got here, though, wo - after a week you can recognise the wheat from the chaff and bring the gems to the forefront.

Put something out

If you’re the type to return to something you did last week and hate yourself for ever having even bothered to bother bothering, please don’t throw it out.  You’re your worst critic, and just because you hate everything you’ve ever done the day you’ve gotten dumped doesn’t mean you wouldn’t love it the day things went your way.  Put it about town, online, show it to your ma, ask for feedback and be surprised that people aren’t as horrid about it as you were, if they are horrid then why are you asking horrid people? Fuck them they wouldn’t recognise talent if it pissed talent-juice in their mouths.

Going digital

Putting all your work on a blog that you never plug properly is a sure-fire way to kill your confidence.  If you post your work anonymously, in a location with no foot-traffic then don’t be surprised that the phone stays quiet.  Post examples into forums, if you don’t know where to find them: AskJeeves them.  Search by your location, or your genre, or some other defining characteristic like ‘Dadaesque ramblings of the strangely hairy-footed’. You’ll surely find some supportive types; you’ll also find some asshole types.  The world needs asshole types though, so that you can better recognise a nice person who is worthy of your time and high-fives.

If you struggle to motivate yourself to work, or abandon stuff midstream, find competitions in places that put out the kind of work you dig. If the publication or whatnot cranks out what you consider shit, don’t be surprised if they think your jewels are turds – clearly they have a taste for poop and that’s cool, some people do. Winning competitions will help make at least four people go ‘oh my, yes!’ but remember that it should be the taking part that matters.  If it is all about the winning than you must be German or American or from somewhere else that doesn’t have a monarchy.

Getting physical… COMING SOONISH